August 31st - Visit #8

Visit #8 was with son #2, Andrew. We went on a dinner date, with him driving, to one of his favorite places, Olive Garden. Andrew felt pressure to say something spectacular because he wanted me to have something “good” to write about. Once again these visits are just to show the people in my life how they inspire me to be my best.  I am determined to slow down the life roller coaster and let people become my focus.  Andrew inspires me because of his character, his wonderful caring heart, his amazing creativity and his passion for all he is involved in. I have never met someone who is more interested in learning about and mastering more things than Andrew. Once he is interested in something, it becomes his total passion until he masters it. His current passion is music which he comes by very naturally. He can play clarinet, all saxophones, electric and upright bass and is working on piano. His talent amazes me! He is also very interested in driving. He recently got his learners permit and wants to drive all of the time. He is a very good driver which makes this desire easier on me.

Andrew has many of my personality traits which is both good and bad. You hope your children only take the good but they are definitely a product of their genes and environment. He is a driven introvert who tends to internalize things and is very independent. After living that life for almost 50 years, I know how hard this can be. We had a very good talk about life and how our families, specifically our parents influence who we are and who we become. I think everyone has hang-ups and baggage to deal with because of parents. I just hope his skeletons and demons are not too much to bear and overcome.

We also spent time talking about the life of a current teenager and how exposure to things at school is at times, unbelievable. He and Chris have had to deal with things that were not a part of my high school experience. Technology has changed things and sometimes not for the good! I question how this generation is going to be effected by the things they are exposed to.

Andrew is a wonderful young man and I am very proud to be called his mom. I know he will do amazing things with his life!

July 30th - Visit #7

For visit #7 I had a girl’s week in Las Vegas with a dear friend. My friend Janet, who is my polar opposite, had to attend a conference in Vegas so I went along for the ride. Janet is outgoing, talkative, has never met a stranger, gets over anything at the drop of a hat, and is filled with joy in almost every situation. Those who know me well, know that I am none of those things!! How we ever became friends is puzzling to me but, we both have the same heart when it comes to kids. I feel like God brought us together to accomplish great things. Five years ago Janet interviewed me for a job in her school. I had several job offers and was praying for a sign on which one to accept. That night when I was coming out of WalMart, I ran into Janet and her husband and she said, “You realize this is a sign.” I didn’t have a choice after that – I had to take the job. We worked together for four great years and then both left to pursue other opportunities in a new district. Over the years, we have laughed together, cried together and supported each other through many situations. She knows me better than almost anyone and still wants to hang out. That is pretty cool in my book! Whenever life gets too hard to handle alone she is the one I call. She is always willing to listen, offer advice or just be there for me. She loves my family and would do anything for not only them but for just about anyone. 

Vegas was a blast!! Janet attended her conference during the day and I went exploring. I visited all of the major casinos and hotels and took in the sites. I also visited the National Geographic 50 Most Intriguing Photos Exhibit. It was amazing to see the photos and learn the stories behind them. The weirdest thing I saw on the strip was a very normal looking bald guy walking around with a rock perched on his head. The Fremont Street Experience provided many more interesting and strange things to see but perhaps should not be written about here. We got to see Bill Cosby and Al Roker – they were very entertaining and it was amazing to see two legends!! We finished up the week by attending a panel discussion with John Quinones and three very passionate teachers. It was very inspiring to see teachers of this caliber talk with such enthusiasm about their jobs! The best part of Vegas was just hanging out with my friend.

It is very comforting to know I have someone to call for anything or for nothing. Janet is my “person” and for that I am grateful!

June 30th - Visit #6

So, for this month I decided to spend time with myself and God and reflect on the things I have learned so far on my journey. I traveled to San Antonio to the ISTE conference for 5 amazing days of learning and food, but was able to spend some alone time and reflect and ponder the things of life. Things that help you reflect on life - turning 50, graduation and the oldest leaving the nest, anniversary #24, the death of an amazing person and friend, the terminal illness of a dear friends young wife, the end of a school year, time alone... Too much of the time I don't stop and be still long enough to ponder anything. This year long journey is a marker along the way to make sure I am headed the right way along the path of life. It has been a wonderful and fun learning experience so far.

Big ideas I have learned so far...

Be passionate about what you do!

Care about others!

Don't take yourself too seriously!

Stop and smell the roses along the way - take time for the relationships in your life!

Some times you just have to deal with "it" and move on.

The most amazing people I know are those that are passionate about what they do and care about others more than themselves. Several of these people are: Mr. Lee, the janitor at my old school. He takes such pride in what he does and is willing to always go above and beyond to help others. My husband, band director extraordinaire. He lives band and would do anything to to share that passion with others. A testament to this is how many students he has had that have followed in his foot steps. Shannon Price, one of the best teachers I have ever worked with. The relationships she builds with students allows her to teach her students to reach their highest potential in everything. I want to be passionate about what I do so I can affect others as these have affected me.

I know that I take life too seriously! I am a perfectionist, very hard on myself and expect too much from myself and others. This tendency hinders my ability to relax and enjoy all life has to offer sometimes. This is definitely an area for continued work! Stopping each month to spend an extended time with someone has helped however, this will always be an area of struggle for me.

One of the people in my life who represents all of these big ideas is my friend, Dee Rogers who recently died of pancreatic cancer. She was and will continue to be such an inspiration to me and so many others. Everything she did in life, she did with passion. Whether it was Learning @ Lovejoy, golfing, family, friends...she lived life with grit and gusto! She cared immensely about others and was always willing to stop and listen. She helped me "move on" on several occasions and helped me not take thing too seriously. I will miss her smile and friendship!

I have enjoyed my journey so far, learned a lot about myself, really connected with people and hopefully will continue to learn and grow and become more of the person I should be.

May 27th - Visit #5

Visit #5 was today with son #1, Chris. He definitely had a large impact on my life in that when he arrived on the scene, I became a mom. Being a mom is one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs I have ever had. When Chris was born, he had sleep apnea and a dislocated hip. He came home on a heart monitor and a Pavlik harness. Since I was a first time mom, I knew no different and we went about life visiting Scottish Rite and listening for the monitor to go off. You tend to deal with the hand you are given. Since that time, he has had his tonsils out which resulted in the "worst day of his life", a broken arm, 5 surgeries on the cyst in his arm, a gash to the head, braces... He has also provided us with many joys along the way. Chris remembers in infinite details many of life's journeys. This can be good and bad!! Chris is one of the most kind, caring and sensitive people I know. He cares so much about others, how they feel and wants to make sure no one feels left out. He has decided to pursue a career in Psychology so he can help troubled youth. This career path is perfect for him!
I wanted to visit with Chris this month because graduation is upon us and he will be leaving the nest soon. I am excited for his journey into the world and can't wait to see what he accomplishes. We had a nice visit over breakfast at Spoons in downtown McKinney. After breakfast he asked me if this was where I was supposed to ask him how I messed up his life by the way I had raised him. I replied that he could share with me anything he thought I needed to hear. His only complaint in his upbringing was that Alan and I sheltered he and Andrew from "stuff" so much that he didn't know how to talk to his middle school classmates. They were all interested in things that he hadn't been exposed to. I am good with that - if that is the only thing he thinks I really messed up, I can live with that.
I feel like Chris and I have a great relationship and have talked about many things throughout the years. He seems to feel pretty comfortable discussing his thoughts, feelings, dreams and hopes with me and for that I am grateful! He is too much like me and will suffer many of the same woes I do however. You want your kids to only take the good stuff from you and hope they skip over the things of which you are not so proud. They see it all though and become what they see and know. Chris is a wonderful person and I know he will make a huge impact on many people throughout his life. I am very proud to be his mom!

April 27th - Visit #4

Visit #4 was a day spent with my husband, Alan.  Of all of my relationships, Alan knows the good and bad of me more than anyone. We are rapidly approaching year 25 and this year I will have spent more of my life married than single. After my first three visits, I knew that Alan needed to be my next visit. Spending time with Billy Faye on my first visit and seeing her 50+ year relationship with Harold, plus seeing how my aunt and uncle have influenced each other and created an amazing family, led me to evaluate my own family.

We spent the day in downtown Dallas eating and visiting.  Our first stop was The Dallas Farmer's Market and BBQ at Pecan Lodge - most amazing brisket ever! We strolled the Farmer's Market and got some great fruit and veggies for the week. We then went to the Klyde Warren Park in Downtown Dallas. It was full of people enjoying a beautiful day. I love that we both enjoy many of the same things - watching sports, reading, going to concerts, traveling, spending time with our family...

Our visit consisted of where we have been and where we hope to go with our lives and our family. Chris is graduating from high school in about 6 weeks and our lives will be changing. Andrew is not far behind Chris and before you know it, we will have an empty nest. We are beginning the talk of retirement and what the future holds. It is hard for me to believe that time has passed SO fast! Many times we are so busy, we don't take the time to really stop and talk about things that are going on, things we believe or things that are bothering us. We get so caught up in every day life and don't stop to check in with each other on a deeper level. We both decided we need to do days like this more often.

I am so thankful that Alan is supportive of my many adventures in life. I am very independent and I know it takes a very special person to put up with my sometimes crazy ideas. I feel like I can do anything I can dream with 100% backing from him. Neither one of us are perfect but I feel like I have a partner for life. It feels wonderful to know how much support I have from him!!

March 24th - Visit #3

WOW!! What an incredible weekend!  My first visit with family was an overwhelming time of learning, growing and understanding.  My aunt and uncle are amazing people who love God and family.  Their lives are such an inspiration to me.  My uncle, who I have always thought was almost perfect, allowed me see to his inner thoughts and feelings.  He spent time sharing what he knows of my family for the past 3 generations and how that has shaped us. We are probably a pretty typical family with skeletons in closets, crazy stories, failed relationships and people trying to make their way in this thing called life. 

He shared his perception of why things are the way they are in our family. He helped me to understand my inner drive, work ethic, how I relate to people and my insecurities. Both sides of my family have a very strong sense of drive which can be mentally and physically overwhelming at times. He shared how he has handled this over the course of his life. My cousin Justin even chimed in and shared some of his journey. Justin’s insights were amazing and almost eerily correct. It is interesting to me, how even though we aren’t connected on a daily basis, being from the same family creates many of the same issues (good and bad).

My aunt, who I also hold in high esteem, talked about how we have a choice to let our circumstances and backgrounds dictate who we are or we can choose to rise above anything and experience joy. She has “joy” signs all over her house to be a constant reminder of this. I think this is a great idea and plan to do the same around my house and office. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the everyday things of life and not remember this. Max is a mentor teacher in her school district so we had a lot of education “stuff” to visit about as well.

When I left their house, I stopped on my way home and climbed Enchanted Rock.  It was a very peaceful time of reflection and beauty. I was able to spend several hours reflecting on my journey so far. As I have said before, this journey has been about connecting with people in my life who have inspired me and meant a tremendous amount to me.  I am thrilled to be spending this year with the people I love the most and learning great things in the process. I truly think that this is becoming a life changing journey. Can’t wait for next month!!

March 16th - Visit #3 Planned

My March visit will be my first with actual family. I will be traveling to Boerne, Texas to visit and receive wisdom from my Uncle Fred and Aunt Max. My Uncle is number five of six kids on my moms side of the family. My mom is number two. Fred has obviously know me since I was born and known my mom since he was born. He has great insight into my extended family and I am looking forward to him sharing some of this insight. He has always been a Quiet Rock in my eyes. He thinks a lot, takes it all in and is very reserved in his sharing of thoughts. Kind of reminds me of me. :)
I was quite excited when Fred decided to bring Aunt Max into the family. I remember helping my Uncle wrap a gift (a cross necklace) for my soon to be Aunt. The wrapping job looked great except one end was wrapped up and the other end was wrapped down. I guess it didn't matter to her because she soon joined our crazy family. Aunt Max is from Valentine, Texas. When you are from Valentine, you are FUN! You have to be because there is nothing to do in Valentine. Max and I created our own fun on many occasions. Spending many a New Years Eve in Marathon, Texas requires the invention of fun. Coconuts, meat cleavers and ice picks were included one year. Memories were made!! Fred and Max have always been a stable force in my life. We don't talk much but when we do, I always come away feeling better about myself, my family and life in general. I really look forward to our visit.